Interesting guy who has lost over 30% bodyfat and 130+ pounds in the last 4 years.

http://mrlowbodyfat.blogspot.com/

Funny Article..The Ladybird Book of the Policeman

The Ladybird Book of the Policeman
http://seorant.ath.cx/police/ladybird.html

The Secret History of Star Wars

http://www.secrethistoryofstarwars.com/

350z Walkthrough...

http://www.cliffshade.com/350zr/gallery.asp

Organizing Your Workspace

Organizing Your Workspace

taken from http://www.davidco.com/articles/1

We often get questions about personal work areas: "What is the best way to organize a desk space, bookshelves, and my whole office? What special gadgets or tools can help me organize the work most efficiently? How often should I clean and organize it – assuming that it doesn't stay neat as soon as it's cleaned?"

I will share my thoughts about gear and workspace logistics, but keep in mind that in order to understand how it all fits together and to make this work, you should be familiar with my documents on the Workflow Diagram, General Reference Filing, the Tickler File, and the Weekly Review. All of these are available on this website.

The workspace should function like a cockpit – all the controls easily accessible as required, allowing for maximum focus on the work at hand, quick over-viewing of work to be done, and easy ad hoc processing of all forms of input (from email, paper mail, phone, and live conversation).

BASIC HARDWARE

Here's a basic toolkit:

1. In-basket (top basket)
2. Work-in-progress basket
3. Standing wire racks for file folders (work-in-progress support)
4. Out-basket
5. Computer
6. Printer (have one right at hand – it'll save you hours!)
7. Clock
8. Phone/answering machine
9. Capture/communication tools – writing pad, stapler, tape; desk tray and holders for pens, post-its, paper clips, scissors, stamps
10. Labeller (for files)
11. New file folders (lots, at hand!)
12. Filing cabinets (within reach)
13. Telephone/address database
14. Calendar
15. Personal supplies (best in at-hand drawers): pharmaceuticals, refills for writing instruments, batteries, business cards, stationery, envelopes, headphones, blank CDs, small tools, and the like.

WORKSPACE FUNCTIONALITY

Two types of materials belong in your workspace, and it's very productive to sort them accordingly:

1. What belongs there permanently
2. What is in transit and incomplete

Most people have vague (if any) physical and visible distinctions between these two very different categories in their environment – what has action required and what doesn't, because it belongs there. In our workflow coaching with executives, the first activity we have them do is sort out what stays where it is and what still needs attention. Often, too, there are many things that should be purged OUT of the environment. Sometimes a plethora of outdated "stuff" can accumulate, clogging up drawers and nooks and crannies of desk real estate.

Permanent Stuff

The only items that belong permanently in your workspace are: supplies, reference material, decoration, and equipment. Anything else goes first in the in-basket to be processed and then is either tossed, tickled, filed or coded into your action-reminder system.

"Supplies" – everything you need, and use up, on a regular basis – writing and printer paper, stamps, paper clips, tissues, ink, etc.

"Reference material" – your files, ring binders, directories, manuals, lists of codes, etc.

"Decoration" – wall décor, art, plants, family pictures, nostalgia, cartoons, etc.

"Equipment" – furniture, phones, computers, PDAs, printers, stapler, letter opener, pens, chargers, projectors, briefcases, etc.

Keep It Current

It's often a worthy exercise to exorcise the supplies, reference material, decoration and equipment that really aren't any longer. Many things that start out as functional in those categories become outdated, useless, or misplaced simply by the passage of time. It's good to regularly purge and reorganize the desk, drawers, shelves, countertops, and files. It's very easy to go unconscious to stuff just because it's there, undermining the sense of active utility in your environment. If you have things still around that you're not sure if you might need again (such as miscellaneous electronic accessories), consider putting them further away from you in plastic storage bins labelled "Misc Gear," which you can then reevaluate later as to its relevance.

Filing Styling

It is important to pay attention to the logistics of filing in your office area because, besides furniture, it requires the most space and physical movement to execute. General reference filing (also including support files for projects in progress) should be within easy reach. You should eliminate any resistance to filing a single piece of paper out of the in-basket, if it's potentially useful information. (See my article on General Reference Filing.) If you have inherited your office and its furniture and its layout, you may be the victim of aesthetic elegance and functional unconsciousness. Standard corporate issue are side-opening filing cabinets that require hanging files, which aren't nearly as easy to use as the front-opening types with slider blocks that hold files upright. Most people need four full file drawers for their own personal general reference filing, if they have an easy enough system to use for all the miscellaneous paper-based reference material that could be keep-worthy. Any reference material that can stand up by itself goes on your shelves, like books, thick manuals and binders (appropriately labelled). Anything else should live in its own file alphabetically in your filing cabinets.

In Transit and Incomplete Stuff

The movable stuff in the work area consists of:

1. Input to be processed
2. Action reminders

Input Processing

Workspace should be organized to make it easy to process input at random times (email, voice mail, paper mail, etc.) The in-basket and your email should all be easily process-able while you're on hold on a conference call, or waiting for someone to walk into your office. So not only the phone and the computer, but also the in-basket should be at hand's reach. The in-basket can and should hold everything that is not yet organized, so there is no need to have a "messy desk". Sure, I spread my stuff out to work on a project or with a client or for a meeting, but when I want to focus on something else, I need to re-gather it all and either re-file it as appropriate or toss it into "in" until I can get to it again. Of course a legal pad or some form of easy note-taking device should always be right at hand in case the phone rings or I want to check voice mail, or someone pops into the office and lets me know something that I might want to do something with later on.

Action Reminding

The action-reminder tools in a workspace consist of (1) calendar, (2) reminders of as-soon-as-I-can-get-to-it actions, and (3) overviews of projects and longer-horizon outcomes. These can be in whatever hardware you have personally chosen as the most logistically efficient for your life- and work-style. They could be in a loose-leaf planner, a software application, and/or paper-based folders and baskets.

The first thing usually accessed at hand is the calendar (and a clock), to let you know where you have to be when today. It signifies the "hard landscape" for your day, and so must be the most easily and consistently reviewed device and information. The next most accessible for review need to be the action-reminder lists, folder, or baskets. ("Gee, I don't have to be in the meeting for another 15 minutes... what could I handle and get off my plate between now and then?") The lists of projects, objectives, goals, visions, might-want-to's, etc. just need to be accessible enough so, in the Weekly Review, they are perused appropriately for effective calibration of your intuitive operational focus.

KEEPING THE SYSTEM

If the workspace is organized appropriately, according to the real principles of workflow (as I've outlined above) it's no big deal to keep it up. As a matter of fact, the more airtight the system is, the more out of control you can let it get! If you're on a real roll (making money hand over fist today), who cares how clean your desk is?! With a clear system in place, it is not only easy to get things back into control, it's actually fun. Without the system, it's frustrating, and there always remains a vague sense of being out of control because the game hasn't been fully structured.

The Weekly Review should be the time to get the edges back, make sure it all is in place, ready for another successful roll. But it's also a great habit and principle – when in doubt, clean a drawer! (There's another roll coming!)

DAVID'S PERSONAL OFFICE SPACE (come on in...!)

On my Desk

1. Two of my Fedon stacking trays – top one for IN and the underneath one for "action support" materials
2. Two Fedon wire stand-up file holder racks, for my plastic system files and work-in-progress support files (current active projects and standing meetings)
3. Laptop in port replicator stand, attached to: network, printer, external storage drive, and synchronizing connectors for PDA, iPod, digital camera, labeller, scanner, and digital recorder
4. Extra single Fedon stacking tray to corral a power strip with miscellaneous chargers
5. Fedon holder for highlighter/letter opener/scissors
6. Two Fedon organizer trays with paper clips, staple remover, stamps, post-its, pens, USB mass storage sticks, lip balm
7. Stapler
8. Scotch tape dispenser
9. Legal pad
10. World globe (small, for decoration)
11. World Atlas (Smythson)
12. Labeller (Brother PT-1800)
13. Scanner (small – Canon)

In the Desk

1. Small drawers: pen refills, staple remover, batteries, business cards, flashlight, NoteTaker Wallet refills, deposit slips, USB headset
2. Deeper drawers: supply of new manila file folders, small tools, miscellaneous travel accessories, etc.

On the counter behind me

1. Heavyweight stapler
2. Printer/fax/copier (HP 2480)
3. Fedon stacking tray for OUT
4. Fedon stacking tray for Read/Review – magazines, articles

My files

In my desk:

1. Tickler file
2. Personal financial files (A-Z)

Within reach

1. Personal DAC company files (A-Z)
2. General reference files (A-Z)

Also...

1. Two small metal cabinets with drawers for stationery, printer checks, envelopes

And on miscellaneous shelves and in the closet

1. Books
2. Printer paper
3. Larger gear

Long time coming...10 Reasons Gen Xers Are Unhappy at Work

Its been a while..Here is a good article called "10 Reasons Gen Xers Are Unhappy at Work"
taken from businessweek (some interesting comments i'd like to keep around--after the article):
http://www.businessweek.com/managing/content/may2008/ca20080515_250308.htm

Harvard Business Online May 15, 2008, 5:50PM EST

10 Reasons Gen Xers Are Unhappy at Work

Corporations really need folks in their 30s to early 40s, but there is a tentative relationship at best between that cohort and Corporate America

by Tammy Erickson

Posted on Across the Ages: May 10, 2008 9:46 AM

I'm worried about Generation X and corporations. As far as I can tell, these two have a tentative relationship at best—and are likely headed for some rocky times ahead.

Corporations really need Gen X—folks in their 30's to early 40's, who should begin to serve as our primary corporate leaders over the next couple years. But I fear many current corporate executives are taking this small and therefore precious group for granted.

Many of you X'ers are not thrilled with corporate life. You tend not to trust institutions in general and deeply resent the Boomers' confident assumptions that you will be motivated by the same things that Boomers have long cared about. Many of you have told me that you are planning to leave corporate life "soon"—to start entrepreneurial ventures or work for smaller companies—options you feel will suite you better than the corporate roles looming ahead.

Why are many X'ers uncomfortable in corporate life?

1. X'ers' corporate careers got off to a slow start and many are still feeling the pain. You graduated when the economy was slow and the huge bulge of Boomers had already grabbed most of the key jobs. As an article in the May, 1985 issue of Fortune said: "[T]hese pioneers of the baby-bust generation are finding life on the career frontier harsher than ever…they're snarled in a demographic traffic jam…stuck behind all those surplus graduates of the past decade."

2. When you were teens, X'ers witnessed adults in your lives being laid off from large corporations, as re-engineering swept through the business lexicon. This engendered in most X'ers a lack of trust in large institutions and a strong desire for a life filled with back-up plans, just in case. Many of the adults you saw laid off and then struggling to reintegrate were in their 40's—about the age X'ers are reaching today.

3. Most corporate career paths "narrow" at the top —the perceived range of options diminishes as individuals become increasingly specialized in specific functions or roles. X'ers crave options, which assuage your concerns about being backed into a corner, laid off from one path. The sense of narrowing career paths and increased vulnerability is often most palpable at the transition from middle to upper management—just where many of you are today. This step also often brings demands for relocation and separation from established social networks—an additional assault on your sense of self-reliance.

4. Just your luck—the economy was slow when you entered the workforce and now its slowing once again—just as you are standing at the threshold of senior management. Stepping into leadership roles right now looks more difficult and the roles themselves, more vulnerable than they have at any point in the past decade.

5. And then there are those pesky Gen Y's. Many X'ers are charged with "managing" Y's which—let's face it—is an impossible task, at least if you define "manage" as controlling their channels of communication. While vying for promotions and trying to look good, many of you feel that Y's are doing an end run around.

6. X'ers are, in fact, surrounded by a love fest—and not feeling the love. As I wrote in last week's post, Boomers and Y's are learning from each other—and enjoying their interactions. It's easy to feel left out.

7. X'ers are the most conservative cohort in today's workforce—and you're surrounded by "shake ‘em up" types on both sides. In your personal lives, X'ers are not particularly keen on rules, but you had to follow them in the workplace—and you resent it when others now don't. It seems unfair to be rewriting corporate etiquette when you've had to toe the line for so long.

8. Many X'ers' are guarding a closely held secret: you're not all as comfortable with the technology that is changing the way things are done as everyone seems to think you are. While it's perfectly acceptable for Boomers to feign ignorance and ask for help, it's embarrassing for X'ers to do so.

9. And if Boomer colleagues are annoying, the Boomer parents of your Y reports are down-right over-the-top. X'ers can't believe the frequency of Y-parent interactions and are deeply turned off by parents who make their presence felt in the workplace.

10. Finally, your own parenting pressures are at a peak. You're deeply committed to spending more time with your kids than your parents did or were able to spend with you, but juggling is getting more and more difficult.

Is it time to jump off the corporate train?

I hope not—at least not for most of you. Corporations really need your leadership. But I understand that we need to create corporate environments that are more conducive to your needs and preferences.

I'm in the middle of my latest writing project—a book on career options and strategies for Gen X'ers. I'd love to hear from you about your experiences, frustrations, and success. What works? What doesn't? What do you worry about? What would you most like to know?

Tammy Erickson blogs at Across the Ages.

-- Sidney Viscous May 19, 2008 8:59 PM GMT I'm so tired of generational generalizations. The boomers were the first generation to have a generational consciousness, because they were the first large youth cohort with any buying power. Marketing created them. Since then older social groupings have reasserted themselves (class, ethnicity, religion). None of the generalizations in this article apply to me or the gen-x peers of my acquaintance. Whether I can work with something has nothing to do with their generation and everything to do with their intelligence, commitment and flexibility. No generation has a monopoly on these.

Leo May 19, 2008 8:49 PM GMT 41, and have been both middle management and entrepreneur. And though your article makes a lot of relevant points, it's missing something key. And that is that many Xers were forced at some point in their career to try it on their own. And a good portion of them found it to be a better path than returning to corporate life. We're in control. If it succeeds, we get the profit. If it fails, it's our fault, and that's good too. Especially when you can change things if you see if failing to work more for success. My career is no longer at the risk of corporate issues. My small company creates interactive training. We take corporate, government and non-profit contracts. We also have a line of direct-to-market products. And non of this would be happening now if corporate had worked like

Happy-Gen-X'er May 19, 2008 8:49 PM GMT I am a Gen-X'er who started his own company a decade ago, so I am pretty happy with my lot. But I can see that some of the generalizations above may apply to some of my peers. Here's an observation: there are advantages and disadvantages to graduating into a recession (as we did) opposed to a boom period (as gen Y did). Many of my peers took time to play in bands, write books, travel, and so on while in their 20s. This produced dividends: I think those of us who smelled the roses are less likely to burn out than those who did not. I would also mention that I think many of the characterizations above are true of pretty much every generation as they turn 40. You either start to realize your dreams at this age or make peace with the fact that it ain't happening. The successful people are very gratified and engaged with their work; the less successful people less so. Gen-Y kids will be having the same experience in 10-15 years. And the boomers you speak of are the successful, happy ones.

Return of the Son of Gen Y'er May 19, 2008 8:32 PM GMT X'er and Proud: Sadly, your attempts to mischaracterize my generation "in our terminology" are also an "epic fail". Y'ers, unlike your lot, do not lend ourselves to be pigeon-holed so easily, which I believe is part of your dilemma in understanding us. We don't all act like that, and I think I'm evidence that not all Y'ers are complainers, lack work ethic, or speak/type like morons. I'll leave that to the kids born in the 90s-00s. It seems like you are really bitter about something bigger than a cross-generational threat. I guess Reagan-omics hasn't worked out so well for your group, but you can't blame Y'ers for that, we were barely born yet. I think a lot of it is that, unlike X'ers, Y'ers HAVE ideals, we care about each other, are better tempered than the Boomers' generation, and that's probably why they like us better. It's why, in the next 10-20 years, you'll see us being your bosses as we gain the experience to go with our vision. And it's how we will fix the problems in America, like your generation has (so far) failed to do.

Ben May 19, 2008 7:55 PM GMT I'm so happy to have read this article. A co-worker of mine sent it to me because he knew how much it would ring true for me (he's heard my ranting for a long time). I know this is going to sound mean, but the Baby Boom generation has destroyed much of our culture, not just in corporations. I'm an amateur philosopher and I've given the subject a lot of thought. Today's corporations and governments are starving for good management. The top management of most businesses that I've come in contact with are run by completely incompetent people. I just turned 33 this past weekend. For a long time I felt that I was alone in seeing how squeezed I am between lazy incompetents in the generation above me and whiny children below me. Unfortunately, I don't think that the strength of Generation X will be enough to withstand the forces of darkness around us. :) Lookout for yourselves. Don't count on anything the Boomers set up for themselves being around for us. Get ready to fix their mistakes in a major way so that we can change the diapers of the Y'ners behind us. ;) I'd love to read your book when its out and I'd be happy to talk to you before its out.

Proud Gen X'er May 19, 2008 6:49 PM GMT "Gen Y'er" hit the nail on the head. "I enjoy ... a good culture that appreciates and rewards hard work." Idiots. So those of us who can do the same work you do in half the time should be frowned upon and bypassed for promotion? How about "work smarter, not harder"? I shouldn't be punished because I don't need to stay in the office every night until 8pm to finish my work, and because I don't need to carry around a Crackberry to reply to emails in the middle of the night or while on vacation. Unbelievable...

Tyler Durden May 19, 2008 6:11 PM GMT I'm 30 M - on the cusp between X and Y. The fundamental problem is that there are too many Boomers. Social security was designed for a ratio of 3 workers to one pensioner. We're down to 2:1 and soon 1.5:1. Moreover, they are hoarding all the resources. Wealth distribution is the worst it has been since the Gilded Age. This generally tracks with age. Thus, our medical technology is going to extending the lifespan of people who are past their productive years. There is no benefit to society to keep someone older than 65 alive and in a feeble state. Those Boomers who were irresponsible with their earnings and now have no retirement will end up being supported by their children. This is already happening to several of my friends. Now they are trying to support their own children and their parents. Massive inflation has also eroded our relative standard of living. Take my folks - they bought a 4 bedroom house that was 10 years old at the time on one middle manager's income. Now that same house which is 50 years old takes a surgeon and law partner to purchase it. The boomers have been passing the buck to the younger generations for too long.

Gen X er and prpud May 19, 2008 6:05 PM GMT I don't think you'll find a high tolerance for whining from or towards Gen Xers, Mr Y'er from Houston. Excuse us for detesting your work ethic, desire for $60,000 a year right out of college, and your general sense that you know it all even though you've achieved exactly zero apart from come up with a derivative MySpace page. Money talks. Skills talk. Your college degree means jack, and your sense of entitlement means jack. I recently bailed on an all Y shop cause you couldn't tell them ANYTHING - even though they were spending 80% of their workday fixing the problems they were creating the other 20% of the time, cause they didn't have the experience to figure out what time the clue train pulled in. Just because you just graduated and know everything doesn't give you the right to call others who call you on your crap whiners.

Paul May 19, 2008 5:42 PM GMT The one element that is missing from your list - compensation. Those of us that started working during a down economy are staring at much junior resources that make more than us for doing less work. Our income generally hasn't matched inflation, yet we find ourselves working longer hours at more complex tasks with direct reports that make more than we do. Corporate America just doesn't make it worthwhile any more to commit to careers at a single employer. We have to move around to increase our salary.

Gen Y'er May 19, 2008 5:42 PM GMT 23 years old - I have a masters' degree in Economics and have been working for a Fortune 500 company for about a year now. The experience has been nothing short of pleasurable. I enjoy great benefits, 40K+ salary, and a good culture that appreciates and rewards hard work. I can't help it if I know how to use the resources at my disposal (e.g., internet and computers) better than my older co-workers, but I sure do enjoy the rewards! I've also been told that if you work hard, you shall reap the rewards -- that's why I went the extra mile and got an advanced degree. I do not anticipate having to wait excessive periods for promotions - I've been promoted once already, and if my company doesn't want to compensate me with money and position enough to retain my skills and services, I have no problem going somewhere else. I don't view this as "entitlement," I view it as knowing what I am worth and refusing to settle for less. Gen X'ers come off as whiny and self-righteous and I can't wait to zoom right by them at my job.

Portable iTunes Libraries

Snagged at http://www.ilounge.com/index.php/articles/comments/moving-your-itunes-library-to-a-new-hard-drive/

Like many iTunes users, you may have started out with a basic iTunes library storing all of your media content on your primary internal hard drive. However, over time, with the addition of new content and video capabilities, your iTunes library may now be threatening to overtake what little storage you have left.

This is not at all an uncommon situation, and fortunately it’s really not all that difficult to relocate your iTunes library to another hard drive once you understand the basics of how iTunes manages your media content and the options available to you.

This tutorial is intended for both the average and slightly advanced iTunes user and will provide the necessary information that you need to know about moving your iTunes library onto an external hard drive, or even a secondary internal hard drive.

How iTunes Manages Media Content

Before we delve into the steps of actually moving your media content, it’s important to explain in some detail exactly how iTunes handles the management of your media files under the hood, what your options are for relocating these files, and the various pitfalls that you might encounter in this process.

The first and most important consideration is that ideally, iTunes is intended to handle all of the details of the underlying file system for you. By design, the user manages their content through iTunes, and ideally never even looks at the underlying file system, much less worries about moving files around. In this scenario, iTunes can even handle the relocation of the library for you, making the entire process quite seamless.

This may not match every user’s style of media management, but it’s important to understand how this affects the process of moving your media files to a new location.

The most important point to keep in mind is that once a media file is listed in the iTunes library, it is referenced by iTunes by the specific location (ie, full pathname) of where this file is located. Therefore, if you move a file, iTunes will almost certainly lose track of that file, and the result will be a broken link in the iTunes library.

This means that you cannot simply move your files manually to a new location and expect iTunes to find them after you’ve moved them, as it will still look for those files where it originally expected them to be. This one point alone has caused many users a great deal of grief, since repairing this situation can often be a tedious process of either manually adjusting the paths to hundreds of files or manually putting those files back into their original locations so that iTunes can find them again.

Fortunately, if you understand this and use iTunes and its related tools the way they were designed, you can ensure a smooth migration of your iTunes library to an external hard drive or even a completely new computer with minimal problems.

iTunes: The Database versus the Content

Another important point to understand: There are really two components that we are concerned about in this process, and these are somewhat distinct from each other in terms of where and how they are stored.

The iTunes Library Database contains the actual index of your media content. This is generally a file named “iTunes Library.itl” and several other supporting files, and by default lives in your Windows “My Music” folder or your Mac “Music” folder under a sub-folder named “iTunes.” This path is not modified by any iTunes preferences, and in fact could not be easily changed in versions of iTunes prior to v7.

The iTunes Music Folder contains your actual media content. Despite the name, this includes not only your music, but also audiobooks, TV shows, movies, podcasts and iPod games—essentially all types of content managed by iTunes. By default, this folder is named “iTunes Music” and located as a sub-folder under the iTunes Library Database folder, however this can be changed to any location you prefer via your iTunes advanced preferences.

Generally, when trying to conserve disk space, the iTunes Music Folder is the component that most users wnat to relocate. The iTunes Library Database can frequently remain in its default location for most users, and is generally only moved to an external hard drive when you want to move your iTunes library between more than one computer.

We will therefore focus primarily on the steps required to move the iTunes Music Folder to a new location, and briefly discuss moving the iTunes Library Database later in this article.

Standby to Prepare to Move: Checking your Preferences

So, armed with a basic understanding of how iTunes stores its media content, and knowing that you cannot simply move files around and expect your iTunes library to maintain references to these files, its important to look at how your library is currently setup, and understanding from there what your exact options are.

The key to this process is to review your storage settings under your iTunes advanced preferences, which can be found by selecting Preferences from the Edit (Windows) or iTunes (Mac) menu, and then selecting the Advanced tab:

The first option, “iTunes Music folder location” indicates where your iTunes media content is stored by default. Remember that this only includes the media content and not the library database itself. Whether all of your content is located in this folder is going to depend upon the next two settings found on this screen.

Keep iTunes Music folder organized determines whether tracks in your iTunes Music folder are automatically organized based on the track information found within each file. With this option enabled, iTunes will move and rename files within the iTunes Music folder as necessary into an ARTIST\ALBUM folder structure, and name each file based on its track name from within the tags itself. If this option is disabled, then files are left as-is within the iTunes Music folder.

Copy files to iTunes Music folder when adding to library determines whether files that you add to your library are automatically copied into the music folder, or left in their original location. When this option is disabled, however, iTunes will simply store the full path to an added file from wherever its original location is.

Tracks copied into the iTunes Music Folder become “Managed” files (in that iTunes will manage the location and naming of these files), whereas files that are not copied into the iTunes Music folder are “Referenced” files—iTunes stores a full path to the file, but does not actually take any further action with those files in terms of organizing, renaming, moving, or deleting those tracks.

Note that content purchased from the iTunes Store or ripped from CD is always stored in the iTunes Music folder—those files have to go somewhere after all. So, this setting only affects existing files that are added to the iTunes library (ie, MP3/AAC files that you rip via other software or download from other sources).

So why is all of this important? How you have configured these options is going to determine how much flexibility you have when moving your iTunes media content elsewhere. In a default configuration where all of your media files live within the iTunes Music folder location ("Managed" files), and have been organized by iTunes, the process of moving your library may be considerably smoother than for a user who has a bunch of “referenced” tracks living in various locations and possibly even on different drives.

While iTunes can move your files to a new location in either scenario, the only way to move a library that consists of referenced files is to actually convert them to an entirely managed library approach in the process. Users who have built their own file-system organization for their media content and want to preserve that layout will likely find the process of moving their content to be much more challenging without creating a whole new iTunes library and reimporting it.

Moving Your Content: The Wrong Way

A very common mistake made by most users is to simply try and move their entire iTunes Music folder to a new location and update the iTunes Music folder path in iTunes’ preferences. While this will work in some cases, the reality is that you will risk iTunes losing track of some or all of your music files in the process.

The reason for this is that iTunes stores the entire full path to each music file in its library database. If you move that file somewhere else, then iTunes won’t be able to find it, and the result will be a broken link to that file, shown as an exclamation mark in iTunes immediately to the left of the track listing:

If you try to select a track with a broken link, iTunes will notify you that it cannot find the file, and give an opportunity to locate it yourself:

Selecting “Yes” will allow you to browse for the file, and iTunes will link the current entry to that specific file. This can be a viable solution for a few broken links, but you can well imagine that this could become very tedious if you had hundreds or even thousands of files in this state.

Should you find yourself in this situation, the simplest solution is generally just to move your iTunes Music folder back to its original location. iTunes still has the complete path to each file in its database, so if you put the actual files back, it should have no problem finding them again.

Note that users who have a completely “Managed” library configuration may be able to get away with using this method to move their library, however it is still not the recommended solution. The reason this method will work in this case is because iTunes will actually look for any missing tracks in their default location under the iTunes Music folder path. So, if your tracks are organized in the way that iTunes expects to see them, then it will be able to locate them in the new location. However, this solution is rarely completely reliable simply because it is not uncommon for users with large libraries to have a few referenced files due to changes to iTunes preference settings or even inconsistent behavior with older versions of iTunes.

Consolidate Library: The Right Way

So, knowing that these pitfalls exist, what’s the best way? Remember that iTunes’ philosophy of managing your media is actually to insulate you from having to worry about the underlying file system. On the basis of this approach, it makes sense that it should provide the necessary tools itself to facilitate moving your library to a new location.

So in other words, rather than messing around copying/moving files through Finder or Windows Explorer, why not let iTunes deal with this for you? This is handled in iTunes through the Consolidate Library option, found under the Advanced menu in iTunes.

What the Consolidate Library option actually does it to essentially consolidate all of the files listed in your iTunes library into the iTunes Music folder. It does this by copying any referenced files into the iTunes Music folder, renaming them with the proper track name, and organizing them into its standard file and folder structure (ARTIST\ALBUM, essentially). This option is at least partly intended to allow you to bring “referenced” files into the iTunes Music folder from various other locations in the event that you may have added them to your library with the “Copy Files” option disabled.

However, the only real distinction between a file that is “managed” and a file that is “referenced” is the actual iTunes Music folder path. Files in this folder are considered managed by iTunes, and anything outside is a “referenced” file. So, if you change the location of the iTunes Music folder to a new path and then use the “Consolidate Library” option, iTunes will happily copy all of these files into your new location, updating all of the file location information in the iTunes database in the process.

Performing the Move

So, the actual process of moving your iTunes media content is quite straightforward:

First, go into your iTunes advanced preferences, and change the iTunes Music folder path to whatever new location you want your iTunes media files to be stored in. This will usually be an external hard drive, but it can be any valid path, including a secondary hard drive or even a network share:

Once you have updated the iTunes Music folder location, simply select Advanced, Consolidate Library:

iTunes will advise you that it is about to copy all of your content into the iTunes Music folder, and warn you that this cannot be undone.

Simply click “Continue” and iTunes will begin the process of copying the files into their proper locations and updating these locations in the iTunes library database.

Note that this process copies the tracks to the new location rather than moving them. Although the original tracks still exist, the iTunes library database is updated with the new location, which makes the process difficult to undo unless you have kept a backup of your iTunes library database from before the consolidation. Making such a backup is certainly an option, although not normally required.

The other important note is that this will reorganize your entire library file system into iTunes’ own way of laying it out (ALBUM\ARTIST\TRACK.MP3). This may not be a desirable option for those who have their media file system laid out in their own organizational structure, or who use other third-party applications that expect media files to be organized a certain way. Unfortunately, if you’re in this situation, there really is no easy way to move your iTunes media content without creating a whole new iTunes library and reimporting all of your tracks into the new library from their new locations.

Confirming and Cleaning Up

Once this process has completed, you should be able to confirm that the files have been copied to the new location and that iTunes is referencing them properly from there simply by selecting a track at random and choosing File, Get Info. The “Summary” tab for the file properties will indicate the physical location of that track, which should reflect the new iTunes Music folder path.

Since iTunes copies the media content rather than moving it, you will also likely want to delete the your iTunes media files from their original locations.

Remember that this process only moves the iTunes content however. Your iTunes library database will still be located in its original location, likely on your primary hard drive in your “Music” or “My Music” folder, as described above.

Moving the Library Database

If you’re simply interested in moving your files to a larger disk, there’s seldom any reason to worry about moving the library database, as it doesn’t normally take up a lot of storage space, and there are advantages to leaving this file on your local hard drive and simply storing the content on an external drive.

That having been said, if you do want to move the library database to another location, this is certainly possible as well as long as you’re using iTunes 7 or later. This must be done separately from the process of moving the content described above, and you’re best to run the “Consolidate” operation and move the content first, and then relocate the library database.

To do this, shut down iTunes, and copy your “iTunes” folder (under your “Music"/"My Music” folder) to the new location. Keep in mind that by default, you may still have media content located in an “iTunes Music” sub-folder, and you probably don’t want to waste time copying this content over if you’ve already Consolidated it to another location, so you may want to exclude that one sub-folder.

Once you have copied the “iTunes” folder, including the “iTunes Library.itl” and any related support files and folders, simply restart iTunes while holding down the SHIFT key (Windows) or OPT key (Mac) and it will prompt you to either create a new library or choose a location for an existing library:

Simply click “Choose Library” and browse for the location that you copied the iTunes folder to. iTunes should start, and will be using that particular library database instead of the one from the original location. Once you have set this location, iTunes will continue to use it unless you change it again via the same method.

Moving the iTunes library database onto an external hard drive can be useful if you plan to move the external hard drive between multiple computers. It can also be useful to store it in a common area on a local computer for access by multiple user profiles, or even on a network share.

One word of caution, however: The iTunes database is not designed for multi-user access. If you decide to place it on a network share or in a common directory on a standalone workstation, always make sure that you do not have more than one copy of iTunes running against it at a time, otherwise you will risk corrupting the iTunes database.

Using an External Hard Drive and a Portable Computer

Once you have consolidated your library content onto an external hard drive, iTunes will continue to use that location for any newly imported or downloaded content, subject to your iTunes preference settings.

However, this creates an additional consideration for users of portable computers, since the external hard drive may not always be available. Fortunately, iTunes actually works around this quite well, so there’s no need to pack up the external hard drive when going out with your laptop.

Basically, when you start iTunes with your external drive disconnected, the iTunes Music folder path will temporarily revert to its default location on your local hard drive. This allows iTunes to run properly, although obviously you will not have access to any of the content that’s not already in that location. You will get broken links to any files that you try to access, since the external hard drive is not present. No need to worry, however, as this will correct itself once the drive is available again.

However, this does allow you to download new content (ie, import CDs, add files to your library, download podcast episodes, purchase content from the iTunes Store, etc). This new content will be saved in your local iTunes Music folder, and will be playable from there.

You can even sync your iPod (or iPhone) to your library in this state. “Missing” tracks (those with the exclamation marks beside them) will remain on the iPod, since they are still listed in the library. You obviously won’t be able to add content to your iPod that isn’t already there, but you could certainly sync any new content you’ve added while disconnected, since those files do exist on your laptop computer. Further, even ratings and playcounts will be updated in the iTunes library during an automatic sync.

This can be a useful way to rip a few tracks off a new CD when you’re away from home and get them loaded onto your iPod without having to wait until you get home or having to resort to switching your iPod to manual mode.

Once you do return back home and plug the external hard drive back in, you simply need to restart iTunes and it will detect that its proper iTunes Music folder has returned, and go back to using that as its iTunes Music folder path. Any content you’ve downloaded or imported while you were away from the main library storage area can be transferred over simply by running the “Consolidate Library” option to copy those files over.

The way that iTunes handles this provides a very effective way to maintain a large iTunes library that is somewhat usable on the go without having to keep it all on your laptop’s internal hard drive.

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Wild Pictures..

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Top 10 Myths about the Romans

For many, the only exposure to Ancient Rome comes from what they have seen in the movies or on television. Unfortunately, films like Gladiator, Spartacus, Barabbas, and Demetrius and the Gladiators don’t present a very accurate depiction of life in Rome and the arena.

Considering the fact that the Roman Empire existed for so long, and so much of our own Western society has derived from it, it is no surprise that we all have at least one or two misconceptions about the Empire and its people.

For this reason, we have put together a list of the most misconceptions people hold about the Ancient Roman society and customs. Fortunately most are easily proven wrong as you will see when you read on:

10

Thumbs Up

Contrary to popular belief, the emperor did not give a thumbs up or down for a gladiator as a signal to kill his enemy. The emperor (and only the emperor) would give an open or closed hand - if his palm was flat, it meant “spare his life”, if it was closed, it meant “kill him”. If a gladiator killed his opponent before the emperor gave his permission, the gladiator would be put on trial for murder, as only the emperor had the right to condemn a man to death. In the image above we see this myth in action.

9

Atia

HBO/BBC created an excellent series called “Rome” which covers a number of years of the Roman Empire. In the series they have, unfortunately, slandered the good name of one of the main Characters, Atia (Mother of Octavian - Augustus - and niece of Julius Caesar). In the show she is seen as a licentious, self-absorbed and manipulative schemer who is Mark Antony’s lover. In reality, Atia was a highly moral woman, well regarded by Roman Society at the time. Tacitus had this to say of her:

In her presence no base word could be uttered without grave offence, and no wrong deed done. Religiously and with the utmost delicacy she regulated not only the serious tasks of her youthful charges, but also their recreations and their games.

8

Vomitoria

A very persistent myth about the Romans is that they would feast until they were full, then visit a room called a vomitorium to “vomit” the food out so they could start over again. This is a myth - the vomitoria were actually passages that enabled people to move quickly to and from their seats in an amphitheater. These vomitoria made it possible for thousands of Roman citizens to be seated within minutes. In the photograph above [source] we see a real vomitorium.

7

Romans Spoke Latin

While it is true that the Romans did speak a form of Latin known as vulgar Latin, it was quite different from the Classical Latin that we generally think of them speaking (Classical Latin is what we usually learn at University). Vulgar Latin is the language that the Romance languages (Italian, French, etc.) developed from. Classical Latin was used as an official language only. In addition, members of the Eastern Roman Empire were speaking Greek exclusively by the 4th century, and Greek had replaced Latin as the official language.

6

Poor Plebeians

In modern days we tend to use the term plebeian to refer to the common or poor classes, but in Rome, a plebeian was just a member of the general populace of Rome (as opposed to the Patricians who were the privileged classes). Plebeians could, and very often did, become very wealthy people - but wealth did not change their class. Wikipedia has an excellent article on this which you can read here.

Just paying the bills...

5

Romans Wore Togas

When we think of Romans, we almost always imagine men in togas. But in fact, the toga was a very formal piece of clothing - to say that the Romans always wore togas would be the same as saying that the English always wear top-hats and tails. Juvenal says this: “There are many parts of Italy, to tell the truth, in which no man puts on a toga until he is dead”. The average roman would have worn tunics.

4

The Salting of Carthage

There is a popular misconception that when Rome conquered Carthage, they salted the farmlands to prevent anything from growing. In fact, this is a 20th century myth which has no bearing in reality. When the Romans conquered Carthage, they went from house to house capturing slaves and slaughtering the rest. They burnt the city to the ground and left it as a pile of ruins. This resulted in the loss of a great deal of historical information on Carthage, which makes the study of it difficult in modern times.

3

Et tu, Brute

Caesar’s last words were actually “And you also” as recorded (in Greek) by Suetonius: Και συ Τέκνον (kai su teknon). These words were spoken to Brutus, which is undoubtedly the reason that Shakespeare coined the phrase: “And you, Brutus”. The meaning of his last words is unknown - but it would seem fair to think that he was telling his murderer: “you will be next”. Caesar was bi-lingual (Greek and Latin) and Greek was the dominant language in Rome at the time, so it is not unreasonable that his last words would have been uttered in that language.

2

Gladiators Were All Men

In fact, women were gladiators too (though they were called gladiatrices - or gladiatrix for singular). While the first documented appearance of gladiatrices appears under the reign of Nero (37 - 68 AD), there are implications in earlier documents that strongly suggest they existed before. A strong condemnation against female gladiators of the Flavian and Trajanic eras can be found in the Satire VI of Juvenal, decrying the fact female gladiators were typically from upper-class families and seeking thrill and attention. Emperor Severus banned female gladiators around AD 200 but records show that this ban was largely ignored.

1

Nero Fiddled While Rome Burned

In fact, most modern historians believe that Nero was not even in Rome when the fire started. The fire started in shops selling flammable goods, though it was later blamed on the Christians (which brought on a new onslaught of persecutions). Nero was actually in Antium when the fire started, and when he heard about it he rushed back to Rome to organize relief efforts. According to Tacitus: “the population searched for a scapegoat and rumors held Nero responsible. To diffuse blame, Nero targeted a sect called the Christians. He ordered Christians to be thrown to dogs, while others were crucified and burned.”

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7 Things you MUST do in an interview

from Yahoo HotJobs

7 Things You Must Do in an Interview

Aileen Pincus, BusinessWeek.com, Yahoo! HotJobs

When you are looking to make the Big Leap -- the one that puts you closer to the power centers of a business or organization -- the interview process will likely be different from what you've experienced before. The more senior the person or people you're interviewing with, the more definite their ideas are likely to be about what they're looking for. They know that their own continued success depends on hiring the best people.

So how do you prove your readiness for the big leagues? By thinking like a big-league player. This interview will be different from others, but it will be your best chance to impress the decisionmakers, so there are some key points you want to be certain you get across. Here are tips to help you succeed:

Show You Get the "Big Picture"

Any number of interview candidates may possess specific subject-knowledge valuable to a business. But the candidate who goes beyond mere information and displays an ability to use it well is more likely to get the job. Senior executives and managers generally want people who pay attention to and understand the broader view.

Tip: Demonstrate you recognize patterns and understand their importance; that you know how to use and synthesize information.

Find Out What Keeps the Boss Up at Night

Do your homework so you understand not only the job or promotion for which you are applying, but also the job of the senior executive above it. Do you know to whom this person reports, and what the top issues are for your boss's boss?

Tip: Make that knowledge part of your interview conversation. Show an interest not only in the specifics of the job, but in the product and markets for that company. Ask broad questions: "What do you think the potential growth in the Indian market is?"

Look for Answers

Senior managers are looking for candidates who are creative thinkers focused on finding solutions. It is less important that you show you know the details of the problems the organization faces than that you're able to demonstrate readiness to look for options and find solutions.

Tip: Think about problems in the past you've identified and managed to solve. Show readiness to tackle the tough issues.

Show Some Guts

Chances are whoever you're interviewing with got where he is by showing some moxie, and you should too. Top people need and want folks around them who are not afraid to speak up and will confidently assert their ideas. It is the only way to be part of the process.

Tip: Be ready with an example of a time when you weren't afraid to go out on a limb and your actions helped bring about real change.

Show Your Softer Side, Too

Yes, you should speak up and assert your ideas. But there will be times when the folks at the top will want-- will even need -- for you to go along once a decision has been made, even if you don't agree with it.

Tip: Think about past experiences you can discuss to demonstrate you're comfortable with the challenges of a dynamic environment.

Listen

Just as you want to make it plain in an interview that you are not too timid to speak up, you want to make it clear you are not over-confident or intent on dominating the process. Demonstrate you are able to listen without being too eager to cut off dialog.

Tip: Ask questions that reflect the concerns of the questioner in a constructive way. For instance, if you are asked what you would do in a certain situation, resist the temptation to answer before you've asked some questions of your own.

Keep It Positive

If there's one thing senior managers have a universal distaste for, it's whining. Remember, every hiring manager wants to hire a team player who will bring positive energy and real initiative to the job. Be ready with examples of positive suggestions about problems or issues that you took initiative on in order to demonstrate your people skills.

Tip: Steer clear of any criticism of prior managers, even if invited to offer it.

Women to Avoid

From : http://www.themenscenter.com/busterb/womento2.htm

First off, I have to say that I didn't write this list. It came from NiceGuy's Women Suck! Homepage. However, I couldn't resist adding my own commentary, so here it is. As I pointed out on my original list of women to avoid, this list isn't about telling women how to be. It is, instead, about telling men to date smarter. Women have been talking amongst themselves, creating these kinds of lists for generations. Cosmo and other women's magazines puts women's lists into print from time to time for shock value. Now, men, it's time that we started talking about which kinds of women make good companions and which don't.

Self-Image

• Don't date a woman who doesn't accept compliments.

  Women who have poor self-images and are comfortable in those poor self-images don't like to be contradicted. They don't like to hear that they're beautiful, or exciting, or sexy. At some level they enjoy self-pity and the attention that it brings. By constantly trying to reassure her of her worthiness and beauty you will not be curing her poor self-image, but will instead simply: a) cause her to stop believing what you say, and b) feed her need for more and more attention of the form, "No, Honey, you're not fat! You're beautiful!"

  Now, everyone has bad days, including self-pitying days. I would worry if I dated a woman who, even during her worst "time of the month" didn't feel a little fat and ugly. The question is whether it is a constant theme, and whether she normally accepts compliments. If the answer is no, that she normally says, "No, I'm not," when you tell her she's beautiful, then you're most likely looking at a lifetime of playing "the rescuer." Get off the rescue team and go find someone with a better attitude.

Unrealistic Expectations (Princesses)

• Don't date a woman that reads Harlequin Romance novels.

  The point here is to avoid women who have unrealistic views of men. You are not her knight in shining armour. You are not going to rescue her life from its current pathetic or semi-pathetic state. You're just her companion and lover. If she consumes like popcorn books and movies that portray men as sweeping women off their feet and making their lives all better, you have to know that she thinks that her life sucks and it's going to be your job to make it all better. (No, you can't.)

• Don't date a woman who responds to good news by simply upping her expectations.

  This one is pretty easy to spot: she wins a trip to Cabo San Lucas, but then discovers later that she has to pay the taxes, which total $120.00. Is she still ecstatic? Does she shrug her shoulders and laugh, and say, "Hey, I still have a really cheap trip to Cabo!" Or, does she sulk, pout, and start stomping around and throwing things? After she won the trip, did she continue to remember that she was incredibly fortunate, or did she simply revise the world so that "normal" included a free trip to Cabo, so having to pay anything is now a great misfortune? Stay away from the latter kind of woman. No matter how hard you try, no matter what you do, your great efforts will only briefly impress her, as she will simply raise the bar to include whatever energy you're putting out for her.

  Mrs. Buster does this all the time: I tell her that I'm coming home two hours early. I arrive, instead, an hour and half early, and I'm treated to a sulking, angry, slamming-door bitch, all because I was "a half hour late." Whatever good fortune we have, or whatever good things I make happen, she simply incorporates those into "normal" or "acceptable." Then failure to deliver becomes a negative experience. And women wonder why some married men just throw up their hands and stop trying.

  The other great danger with women like this, by the way, is that all of the high-energy stuff you do during the high-energy stage of courtship she will simply incorporate into her vision of "normal." Flowers every week, going to the movies every week, romantic walks along the beach... these will no longer be special things that she treasures, but simply things that she expects to happen. Inevitably, the relationship cools down a bit from its superheated beginnings, and you're supposed to be calm and learning deeper things about each other. Instead, she will be bitching and fretting about not getting her flowers every week. If you do make an effort and once again start buying her flowers every week, she will not shower you with love but will instead accept this as "the way things should be."

  Of course, everyone feels let down after the courtship stage is over and all of that fun stuff isn't so regular any more, but well-adjusted people get a bit down about it and then move on. Princesses become truly pissed off that they aren't getting their due any more.

Life on Hold (Waiting for Mr. Right)

• Don't date a woman that has no hobbies or interests. (Sorry honey, sleeping and watching TV are NOT pastimes!)

  There are, in my experience, three kinds of women out there in this regard:

  1. Women who have no lives and are waiting for "Mr. Right" to come along so that they can saddle him with all of their dreams and hopes, and put him into service realizing those dreams and hopes. These women are sort of like heavily-loaded carts, waiting by the side of the road for an ox to happen by. Guess who's the ox.

  2. Women who have lives doing lots of activities that they don't really much like, in the hopes that they can meet a man through said activities. After meeting and bagging him, they will forthwith drop said activities and bring out the real agenda. The question for you is whether she would hate to give up these activities. Watch what happens on those occasions when she is double-booked and has to choose between the activity and the new thing. If she seems relieved to get away from the rock climbing, then she's a faker.

  3. Women who have made lives for themselves and are doing things that they really enjoy. These women may miss their activities a few times to go out with a great new guy (that's you), but they're not happy if they can't go rock climbing from time to time.

• Don't date a woman who calls you more than twice a day (and twice is one too many), or at nutty hours of the day or night.

  In men and women, desperate is a bad sign. Desperate people want somebody, anybody, which means that the most important quality about you in their eyes is that you're breathing. Desperate people also tend to do weird, freaky things when you tell them that you're not interested in carrying on with them. All of the stuff I said before about women putting their lives on hold, waiting for Mr. Right, and the danger of the piles and piles of dreams and plans that they have stored up landing on your shoulders goes double for the obviously desperate ones. Some men make a career out of finding desperate women, screwing them, then dumping them right away, but I wouldn't. First of all, it's not nice, and second of all it's risky in the same way that parachuting is risky. You're always in danger that one day you'll get a very freaked out woman, just as you're always in danger that one day the chute won't open.

  I should point out as well that women regularly avoid men who are like this. They call them "needy" men, or "try-too-hards." Take page from the ladies' book and avoid these ones yourself.

Bad Attitude

• Don't date a woman that always says she's a "real woman looking for a real man". Real woman = Loudmouth, smart-ass, vulgar bitch; Real Man = sap who'll put up with her and her crap.

  Maybe not. Maybe she's just a frustrated woman who has been out with a lot of immature men and doesn't want another one. However, either way she has a chip on her shoulder, and you're starting off with huge negative points until you can prove that you're whatever her definition of "a real man" is. Even then, God help you if you ever fail to meet one of her criteria for "realness," because if you do you'll just be back down there with the jerks she dated before. This is why I personally avoid Canadian women: because too many of them think of themselves as "real women" looking for "real men" (or "a decent man"). Why start off with -2000 points when you can date someone who actually likes men for who they are, and start off with +500 points? And yes, there are some nice Canadian women out there, but why search for a princess in a barnyard?

• Don't date two-faced women.

  Have you ever accidentally happened upon your beloved walking down the street with a dark scowl on her face and then, when she sees you, she lights up with a big smile? Every man I know (including me) thinks that this means that she loves him so much that his mere appearance parts the clouds and brings out the sun for her. This may be true, but more often than not what this gesture really means is that she has one face for her "loved ones" and one face for her friends. She smiles and nods to people she wants to impress, and reserves her bad moods for people she figures can't escape. This means her family, and, should you tie the knot with her, you. Here are some other signs of this same kind of personality.

  • She talks on the phone to her friend / brother / father / ex-boyfriend in sweet, gentle tones, then after she hangs up scowls and says, "Stupid bastard," or some such thing.

  • She is in a rotten, lousy mood but when the phone rings she is suddenly Miss Sweetness herself... until the conversation is over and she hangs up, at which point she becomes the Wicked Witch again.

  • She treats some other people with scintillating charm and others with contempt, depending upon who they are (for example company presidents versus waiters).

  These signs tell you that you're dealing with someone who isn't authentic, and reserves her good (phoney) side for people she wants to impress. One day, not long from now, you will move from the "to be impressed" category to the "take for granted" category, at which point you'll just become another way for her to vent her frustration at having to be nice to all of the jerks that she's still trying to impress.

  I find that most men strive mightily to ignore warnings like these. I know that I did, and probably still do. It's natural to assume that your lady-love's tendency to shine when you're around, even when she's pissed off, is a testament to your obvious charm. Sadly, it's probably not.

  Now, this doesn't mean that you should look for a woman who is never angry, or look for a woman who doesn't hide any of her feelings. It's natural to tone down anger or sadness when you run into someone you're trying to impress, or when they call on the phone. The difference, though, between an authentic woman and a inauthentic one is that the former will say, "I'm sorry, but I'm not in a good mood right now. Could you please call back later?" Or, "It's nice running into you on the street, but I'm having a bad day. Could we talk later?" On the other hand, the phoney woman will be all (fake) smiles and gush about how delighted she is to see you, even as she is thinking to herself, "Damn. I wish that this dork would leave so that I can get on with my day." Typically, you can only see the difference in how she reacts to other people, or when you catch her unawares.

• Don't date a woman who always has to be right.

  This should go without saying, but don't date a woman who always has to be right, and thinks that everyone who disagrees with her is stupid, uneducated, or misinformed. Believe it or not, there are women like this who don't even try to hide this aspect of their personalities, and there are guys who date them and fall in love with them. An actual conversation I had with an ex-girlfriend:

  She: I saw that movie last month. It was crap. What did you think of it?
  Me: I enjoyed it, but I can understand that someone not in the mood for philosophical monologues and deep thinking might find it boring.
  She: Shows how much you know about film.

  I was deeply wounded and offended, but I was still such a sap that I went out on two more dates with her before I dumped her. Then I spend a few weeks wondering whatever attracted me to a bitch like that. Some poor asshole, somewhere, is probably wondering the exact same thing at this moment.

Bad Behaviour

• Don't date a woman who says "You don't know what I've been through!" (A consequence of her own irresponsibility, perhaps?)

  Any woman who can't put her past behind her is either: a) suffering the aftereffects of a terrible life, which means that you have to put up with the suffering and the aftereffects, or b) is setting the stage for future bad behaviour by laying out her reasons up front. Of course, it feels more defensible to get rid of her in the latter case, but you should in the former as well. Let her sort out her problems on her own and then find love. Your job is not to save her. Your job is to find yourself a good companion.

  As for the latter type, what she is really saying is, "You're going to find out that I'm a total bitch... but I have a good reasons, which are that...." Who really cares why she's going to be a total bitch? You won't want to be with a total bitch, no matter what the reason. Say goodbye.

• Don't date a woman that hits you playfully or otherwise. (Signs of the future.)

  I've dated many women who think that hitting men is great fun. I have a new theory on that. Stay tuned. Anyway, even if she never hits you with any force, remember that when she's PMS-ing like mad, and screaming at you for something that happened when you weren't even around but is still, in some twisted way, your fault, and your blood is boiling and she hits you "just to get the point across"... just remember how easy it is under those circumstances to haul off and deck her. Then remember that that lands you in jail. Women who like to hit are just too dangerous to be around. Find one that doesn't.

• Don't date a woman who has major PMS episodes.

  Whatever her PMS episodes are like during your dating phase, multiply that by ten, or a hundred, and that will be what it will be like to be married to her. Women claim that PMS is hormonal and that they "can't control it." This is bullshit. They control it very nicely until you tie the knot. Then they don't bother any more.

  If your girlfriend is already barely tolerable once a month, then get rid of her fast. After you move in together she will turn into Charles Manson during her period. Be afraid. Be very afraid.

Irritating Behaviour

• Don't date a woman who's favorite restaurant is "Wherever you want to eat is fine with me."

  Oh, that brings back memories, and recent ones, too. Women who can't express what they want are dynamite. They know which restaurant they prefer, but they're just not going to say. Then, one day, you'll be facing a raging, crying woman who demands that the two of you do this or that right now because, "We always do what you want to do." In effect, she wants to choose which things she's going to let you decide and which things she gets to decide, and no, you don't get a choice in that. By not volunteering where she wants to eat, or what trip she wants to take, or which museum she wants to see, and therefore forcing you to make the decision, she is building up "guilt points" for later use. Beware.

  I had this very conversation with an ex-girlfriend of mine. Can you imagine living with this for the rest of your life?

  She: I'd like to go out to dinner tonight.
  Me: OK, where would you like to go?
  She: Why don't you decide. I'll go anywhere you like.
  Me: I'd like to go for sushi.
  She: We always go for sushi. Not sushi.
  Me: OK, we haven't gone for Vietnamese in ages. How about that?
  She: No, not Asian. I don't feel like Asian.
  Me: Hmmm. Not Asian. Well, there's Chevy's. They have good food, and the atmosphere is fun.
  She: I was thinking of some place with a view.
  Me: A view. Not Asian. How about the Soft Rock Cafe? They have a view over False Creek.
  She: I was really hoping we could go to Bridges.
  Me: Why didn't you just say so?
  She: Because I wanted to know where you wanted to go.

  Actually happened. Cross my heart. Incredible, isn't it?

• Don't date a woman who thinks current events in the news is J.Lo. and Ben Affleck.

  Well, that is, unless you agree. I know guys who are into airheads. You just have to accept that you'll never have a deep conversation with this person. Personally, I think that you can do better. As well, I would spend a lot of time with a woman like this, just to see if I could really handle being brains for two. Never trust your first impression of how easy it will be to adapt to someone else. You'll always underestimate the difficulties.

Control Freaking

• Don't date a woman that has no sense of humour.

  Well, there are senses of humour and senses of humour. Totally humourless women are bad news, unless you're the type who likes to be ordered around. For me, the real message of this one is to avoid women who can't take what life throws at them with a shrug and a laugh. If you go on a trip and the airline loses your luggage, what does she do? Does she laugh and adapt to the situation, rail against the stupidity of airlines and demand that "someone" fix the problem, or does she turn in the Princess in Distress and wait for someone to rescue her? You want the first one. When she plans a wonderful dinner but the roast chars to a crisp, what does she do? Does the adapt or go on the warpath? If you tell her that you don't like her music, does she accept the comment with a laugh, or rip into you for being an uncultured boor? In other words, as I said, can she take life's disappointments in stride and laugh about them, or is she brittle and demanding?

• Don't date a woman who gets bent out of shape because you just want to have a quiet night at home by yourself, after a long day at work.

  The tone you set dating is the tone that will live on for the rest of your relationship. If she can't handle you having any private time to yourself, then she will never be able to handle you having private time to yourself. In fact, after you're married, it will get worse, because she has lots of preconceived notions about marriage, probably including the notion that husbands and wives are inseparable. If she can't handle it now, then you'll be chained to her every moment of your day. I know this one intimately: at first I was flattered and pleased that Mrs. Buster wanted to be with me constantly. However, it quickly turned into a kind of tyranny. If you can't cope with any of the following then don't go near this kind of woman:

  • She will clock your route time from work to home, and will go ballistic if you arrive more than five minutes later than she thinks you should, even if she sent you on a half hour errand on the way home. She understands mean travel time, average travel time, and standard deviations therein. Who says that women can't do math?

  • All of the sports and fun activities you did when she met you, that you enjoy and make your life worth living (besides your relationship with her, of course) will be gradually whittled away until there is nothing left for you to do but beeee togeeether aaaalways! Your relationship will then begin to implode, with too much focus inward and too little focus outward.

  • She will rely on you for entertainment. Since she doesn't do anything on her own (she wants to be together all of the time), you become her whole world, and you have to be always ready to console her, entertain her, talk to her, decide what she wants, ... the list goes on and on. You are her world, guy, and there's no room in there for you to be sad, tired, or otherwise out of sorts. It's the continuous, all-waking-hours stage play, and the show must go on!

  • Or, perhaps, she will be tremendously jealous and suspicious. She will check up on you constantly. A ball and chain would be cheaper, and less demanding. Even if she isn't suspicious of other women, she will be jealous of your time. If you have to pay bills, talk to banks, arrange doctors' appointments, pick up repairs, or do anything else, you get to do these things on "your time," of which you have none. Get the picture?

  • Your time at work will also be her time. She will expect you to be continuously available to take her phone calls, even if what she wants is to sob and whinge on the phone for an hour about how sad she is, or how her stomach hurts. The fact that you are working, and have a boss to answer to, is irrelevant. She owns you.

  Can you tell that I made this mistake and now I'm wrestling with the consequences? Grrr....

Mind Games

• Absolutely don't date women who use conversation as a crowbar to get inside your head.

  How do you feel after talking with her? Do you feel normal? Refreshed? Interested? Do you feel as though there was an exchange of sentiments and information between adults? Or do you feel as though you've just gone nine rounds with a heavyweight? Does your head hurt? Do you feel just a bit violated? Do you feel as though the conversation just sort of got away on you and you're not sure what happened but you didn't really like it? If in even a few conversations with her you feel as though you're fighting off a rapist then get rid of her. She's the equivalent of the guy whose primary purpose is to get his girlfriend's clothes off. In the end, once she gets inside your head and peers around in there, she'll grow bored and treat you like crap, just as the aforementioned single-minded guy will become bored once he's had his girlfriend a few times. Women alert each other to such guys: Stay away! You, as a man, don't deserve any less. Stay away!

• Don't date a woman whose response to your helping her with a decision says, "So, you don't like the other one."

  For example, a woman who says, "Which dress do you think I should wear? The tan one or the fuchsia one?" and then, after you tell her the tan one, says, "So, you hate the fuchsia one." This is a pure mind game. Never, ever date women who like mind games. You have better things to do with your mind.

• Don't date a woman who responds to your every expression of wishes, emotions, or ideas as being all about her.

  For example, if you say, "I don't like rap music," a mature woman will say, "I like rap music a lot. What is it about rap that you don't like?" She will take what you said as an opportunity to share with you what she likes about rap, and listen to you talk about what you dislike. Maybe, in the end, you still don't like rap, but at least you had an interesting conversation.

  The defensive woman will take your expression of dislike an attack on her tastes. She will yell, or pout, or cry, or otherwise be a pain in the ass because you "don't like [her] music." From her perspective, it's all about her. This effectively closes communication between the two of you, as she uses negative behaviour to teach you never to say anything that she doesn't want to hear. You can't have a relationship with this woman. Get rid of her.

Self-Sufficiency

• Don't get a woman that doesn't work, or is underemployed (e.g. 35 years old and flipping burgers at McDonalds).

  I think that this depends upon the arrangement that you want. If you want the traditional Cleaver family arrangement, then this needs some modification. The main point for me is one that is repeated later in this list: never date a woman who is unambitious or doesn't like to work. If she is unambitious, she will discover her ambition later, after you're married, and then you'll be expected to drop everything and help her realize her goals. If she's allergic to work, well... I don't have to point out who will end up doing all of the work, do I?

• Don't date a woman that always has her girlfriend, sister, or other female by their side.

  Women who always invite a chaperone along are either immature and inexperienced, or afraid of men. Neither of these is a good thing. I once had the hots for a woman at work (this was during my Stupid Period) who went everywhere with her best friend, a married guy from our same office. They weren't screwing around; it was just that she refused to go to any party, movie, or other social gathering without a chaperone / body guard. I was too stupid to know it then, but I should have sworn off of her as soon as I found out about him. I've met her since, and there's still something not right there. Stay away.

• Don't date a woman who can't cook, clean, or do laundry. She's not going to magically learn once the ring is on her hand.

  I love this entry, because it will completely freak out most women. "What?!? Are we going back to the 1950's?!?" they'll scream. This is a hot button for almost any woman I know. However, if you stop reacting to this emotionally and start thinking about it rationally, it makes perfect sense. If she can't cook, clean, or do laundry, whom does she expect will be doing all of this? You? Isn't that just more sexism? I know so many "modern" women who are like this: "I don't cook; I don't clean; I don't wash clothes; I don't do windows." Whom, then, do they think will be looking after them? Guess what, buddy: it's you. The best way not to be an oppressed housewife is to become the oppressive wife to an oppressed househusband, and millions of women are doing exactly that as you read this. Now you know why I laugh at the notion that feminism was all about equality.

• Don't date a woman who dresses nice, but can never seem to keep her phone bill paid for.

  This should be simple, but so many men fall down on this one. She makes about as much money as you do, but she just seems to spend it all every month. Or, she's totally scatterbrained and as such seems totally incapable of looking after the more mundane aspects of daily life. This speaks in part to her priorities (clothes are more important than credit ratings), or her capabilities. Looking after day-to-day finances is, like washing dishes, washing clothes, cleaning, and ironing, part of daily life. Anyone who is utterly incapable in a big "daily life" item is, in essence, waiting to thrust that job onto someone else. Oh, and don't think that because you're handling the day-to-day bill paying that she will have nothing to say about money. On the contrary: out of sight means out of mind, and she will shortly be asking why you can't both fly to Italy once a year. You'll get no thanks for paying the bills, but will instead by roasted for "spending all of the money," or treated as the ogre who won't loosen the purse strings. I know from firsthand experience. Trust me.

• Sugar daddy = a man who finances a woman's irresponsible habits.

  True, but then this is as close to prostitution as you can get without it being illegal. She's young and hot, you're older and have money, so you buy her for a while. She gets something, you get something. That is, so long as you both understand the arrangement. Not what I would call a "relationship," but it takes all kinds.

• Don't date a woman whose car seems to always have a new dent or mechanical problem every week. And don't loan her your car!

  This isn't just about cars and the inability to drive. It is, once again, about helplessness and the need to be rescued. If you need someone helpless because you don't believe that a self-sufficient woman would ever stay with you, then you need some therapy. (Oh, yes, and I know that I most likely fit into that category; this doesn't stop me from recognizing the fact, though. :-)

• Don't date a woman whose bathroom is filthy.

  This plays in part to the helplessness thing: everyone should be able to (at least rudimentally) cook, shop for food and clothing, wash clothing, iron, manage household finances, make long-term financial decisions, hold down a job, deal with banks, government, employers, doctors, dentists, and lawyers, and yes: clean. If her bathroom is filthy, she either doesn't know how to clean, doesn't want to clean, or doesn't care about cleanliness. In the first case she is helpless and will depend upon you to do all of the cleaning (and what else?). In the second case she probably has some chip on her shoulder about 1950's housewives and will expect you to do penance for hundreds of years of "oppression." In the third case, well....

  I once lived with a friend of mine in a rather scummy apartment. My friend, A, had a dishwashing system: leave all of the dirty dishes on the counter, and wash only as needed. Never mind that this was just as much work as washing them all. This was his system. He didn't mind the pile of filthy dishes in the corner with plants and other nasty things growing on them / living in them. Sorry, but most human beings can't live like that. I sure couldn't. I moved out. So, who cares how hot she is? If she has a filthy bathroom (or kitchen), then you'll either be cleaning your whole life just to be with her, or you'll have to endure disgusting conditions.

  Not to mention the question that if her bathroom / kitchen is filthy, what is her body like? Ewwww....

Maturity

• If you're into older women, don't date a woman who takes her of-age daughter with her to the night club.

  Immaturity and the inability to accept who you are causes all sorts of problems. Let her chase the little boys along with her daughter, and instead go looking for someone who knows and accepts who she is.

• Don't have sex with a woman whose favorite sex act is "I don't know".

  This is just another way for her to dump the responsibility for being "naughty" on your shoulders. At first it may feel fun to be the "big bad he-man" who jumps on top of the blushing virgin, but trust me it wears thin pretty quick. After a year or two you're left with the distinct impression that she doesn't really want sex with you, and would just as soon be watching TV. You go from feeling like the big man initiating the blushing little girl into the world of sex to feeling like an undesirable loser chained to a woman who doesn't really want you. Now, she probably does still want you, but since she never expresses that, and never shows much enthusiasm for sex, you're never really convinced.

• Don't date a woman with whom you can't have a serious conversation.

  The flip side of the woman who has no sense of humour is the woman who can't talk seriously about serious issues. Grounded, well-adjusted, perceptive people know when the conversation turns serious and that it's time to lay off the jokes. This has very much to do with maturity and respect.

  "Maturity" because everyone gets nervous when discussing touchy subjects like sex, money, and future plans with a lover. It's not easy at all. However, mature people know that no matter how nervous you get, you have to avoid the cheap escape, which is to turn the whole conversation into a joke. Sure, it's a quick way out of a tight spot, but then it destroys the trust between two people.

  "Respect" because some people can use serious conversations as an emotional tactic. Have you ever had a heart-to-heart talk with someone who ended that talk by flipping everything you said around so that it came out as an insult, or a joke, or something else for which you had to apologize? Beware of women who suddenly turn joking banter into serious conversation, or vice versa. If you're laughing it up with her and then suddenly she starts crying her eyes out, claiming that it's not a joke and that you don't love her, then run. Fast. If you're talking seriously with her, she says something that shocks you, and she starts laughing and saying, "Oh, I was just kidding. Lighten up!" then beware. People who suddenly change the tone of conversations like that are pouring acid on the trust between you. Take her task for it. If she keeps weaseling out of serious conversations, then get rid of her before you can't trust anything she says any more.

• Don't date women who can't keep promises.

  If she simply doesn't keep any promises that she makes to anyone then you have an obvious and serious problem on your hands, but there are more subtle manifestations of this phenomenon. Here I'm not talking about passing remarks such as, "Oh, I'll be there at five." There are anal people who will be there at 4:55 and easygoing people who will show up at 5:45. It happens. What I'm talking about is someone who, in the midst of a serious conversation says, "I'll call her today. I promise. Really. Trust me." If she "forgets" to call, what it means is that all the other stuff she was doing today was more important than her serious promise to you. So what did she do? Ask her. Then think about the fact that every one of those things: going for coffee with her friend, chatting on the phone, watching TV, whatever... each of them was more important to her than a promise made to you. Not good.

  As a personal example, Mrs. Buster has several times made on-my-grandmother's-grave type promises to me in deeply emotional, crisis situations (of which we have more than our fair share, I might add). Every time, after the dust settles, the promise is forgotten, or she's "too busy" to do anything about it. She's busy with housework, or busy with her friends, or busy watching TV. Yes, she has lots of housework to do, but the bottom line is clear: in her life, promises to me, even very serious ones, come last. Even promises made to her friends come before promises made to me. Not good.

  Of course, she wasn't always like that, and this is the subtle part. Mrs. Buster is hell-bent on keeping promises to people she's trying to impress. If your belle is like this, and you're not married yet, she is in all likelihood trying to impress you. So, you have to watch how she treats promises made to other people, in particular members of her family. If a promise she makes to a brother, a sister, or one of her parents is writ in stone... if it's even more important than a promise made to you, then you're in good shape. Sensible people have their priorities straight: family first, then lovers, then friends, then everyone else. You don't want a girl whose priorities are: friends first, then lovers, then family, then everyone else, because if you marry her, you're going to become "family."

• Beware of a woman who can never make up her mind, or who constantly asks you to make decisions for her.

  This is a tricky one, because women have a different way of making decisions than do men. Women prefer to get together in groups and talk out their decisions. Men prefer to make decisions solo. So, expect that your girlfriend will be less decisive than the guys you hang out with. However, if you find her calling you constantly, asking you to make trivial decisions for her, your alarm bells should start ringing softly. This could simply be a male / female communication problem, or it could be the sign of someone who will drive you slowly nuts with trivial questions. Of course, this is a good opportunity to tell her that she's annoying you, and see what happens.

• Don't date a woman who is brutally decisive.

  Most (normal) people make decisions, then ask their partner for an opinion, then discuss any differences, and come to an agreement. Beware the woman who, in order to avoid being indecisive (as outlined above), goes off the scale in the other direction and makes snap decisions that aren't open to negotiation. If, instead of being indecisive she's inflexible, then she's just the same personality type overcompensating for her indecisiveness.

• Don't have sex with a woman who just sits or lays there when you initiate it.

  One of my ex-girlfriends used to do what I referred to as the "dead fish impression." Vibrant, interesting sex requires two participants. Lying on your back with your legs apart is not participating. Being nervous and never initiating is also not participating. Only liking one or two positions and never trying anything "kinky" is borderline. Good sex requires imagination, a sense of fun, and the ability to drop your inhibitions from time to time. If she can't manage that, then you're in for a long, dull life together.

Women with Children

• Don't date a woman who has 4 kids by 5 different guys (hey, maybe she did a threesome once?)

• Don't date a woman with kids at all if you can help it.

  I mention this in my earlier list, but it bears repeating, because there are several reasons for it. First, you may end up becoming the putative father, which puts you on the hook for years of child support. Yeah, I know: she's really nice and she wouldn't do that to you. Well, the ones who would do that to you come across as really nice, too. Why take chances when there are lots of nice, single, childless women out there? Second, she has obviously had at least one relationship that royally tanked. Why should you be her second kick at the cat? Did her relationship tank because the guy was a jerk (if so, why did she choose him), or did it tank because she's a bit dysfunctional? Again, why are you taking chances here? To help her out? What about helping yourself out?

• If you do date a woman with kids, don't buy the kids a damn thing. That's what the crumbsnatcher's daddy is for!

  Again, this plays in the whole lawsuit / putative father thing. Don't set yourself up as the kid's daddy. Oh, and you would be very, very surprised to know who the courts consider a possible "daddy" these days.

Trust Your Gut

• If you get an odd feeling about a woman, don't have sex with her... no matter how hot she is

  So many men (including yours truly) try to ignore that little voice inside them that says, "This is a bad idea. Dump this one now!" I've been out with women who claimed to be witches. (No, not the once-a-month kind, but the abracadabra-you're-a-toad kind.) I've been out with women who claimed to be spies for the secret police. Every time my little, inner voice was screaming, "Run away!" but I didn't listen. Only once did I listen, and it was the smartest thing I ever did. Listen to your little inner voice. It speaks the truth, even if your mother, your sisters, and your girlfriends say that it doesn't.

• Don't move in with a woman, don't let her move in with you. It's hard enough for married couples to live with each other.

  Well, there's one piece of good advice to which nobody is going to pay any attention. Sooner or later you have to make the leap and live with a woman. Whether it's a success (here's hoping) or a disaster, there's something selfish and immature about people who just can't give up that single life. Given that, and that marriage is a crap deal for men these days, and I'm not sure that this rule is a good one in the large. More specifically, though, it does hold up: most women, and even most men, are often far too quick to move the relationship along to the living-together stage and then the marrying stage. Most couples move in together too early, principally because of women's insatiable desire for more "intimacy" (placed in quotation marks here because women confuse intimacy with getting inside a man's head, even as men confuse intimacy with getting inside a woman's pants).

• Don't date a woman who responds to disappointment by staring at the floor and saying, "It's OK."

  It's not OK. She's just not telling you. What you're looking for here is a woman who responds to life's lemons by making lemonade. You want a woman who responds to disappointment by saying, "Well, that sucks, but if we did this instead, then maybe we can salvage the situation." Or, if you change plans on her, says, "Well, I don't really like the new plans. Maybe we can compromise." Or something like that. "It's fine. We'll do it your way." whilst staring at her shoes just means that she understands only two ways to do anything: her way, and someone else's way. After she gets to know you better, you can bet that she will be insisting on her way... or the highway.

  If she says, "It's OK," and you have the nagging feeling that it's not OK, then your nagging feeling is accurate. Get rid of her before she drives you crazy.

• As a follow-up to the item on expressing yourself, pay attention to that uncomfortable feeling you have that you're walking on eggshells with your girlfriend.

  If any little thing you do or say sets her off on a crying jag, or starts her raging, or stops her speaking to you... if you feel as though you have to pay constant attention to her moods so that you don't say or do something wrong... then you have a brittle personality on your hands, and you should dump her. Now. Yes, you'll have to endure more crying / raging / silence, and it may seem like the most terrifying thing you've ever done, but believe me you want to get out early. No matter what she says or does, just remember that the most important person in your life is you, not her. Get rid of her while you're still sane.

Comments by Cquik

After I wrote this expanded list, the original author, Cquik, wrote to me and expanded on some of the entries. The commentary here is his.

• When you first meet a woman, listen not only to what she says, but what she doesn't say!

  This means that when you first meet a woman, listen very carefully to the overall message about herself that she may be conveying to you. For example, if she starts up about how her life is going to hell in a handbasket, her bills are three months overdue and she's about to be kicked out of her apartment, and she doesn't know what she's going to do,the thing that may be unsaid is, "I need a sap who'll freely open up his checkbook to bail me out of whatever circumstance that results from my irresponsibility or negligence." So you need to listen for that unspoken part, should it arise, and be ready to bail yourself! Let Little Miss Spender find some other chump to empty his pockets on her!

• Don't date a woman who has overt tattoos, if any at all.

  The other thing I had mentioned concerning tattoos; in the past, tattoos were part of the code for sailors, soldiers, bikers, and the like. More often than not, the artwork meant something, and tatts were the symbol of outlaws, people who truly wanted to be different from the mainstream. Now, everyone gets them, many of them more or less to be "hip". The vast majority of Amrican women (I can't speak for Canadian women), are slaves to fads, and as such have taken to marking themselves up for life with designs ranging from the now all-too-routine rose on the anle to having different ancient script (safe bet they don't know what the script means- "it just looks so kewl! Giggle!") etched across their backs,on the napes of their necks, and on various parts of their bodies. To those who do so, and keep their markings private or in private places, I have no problem, but women who flaunt their scribblings (i.e. showing the rose tattooed on their cleavage by wearing low cut tops,) also tend to open beer bottles with their teeth and end their Saturday nights with a ride in the back seat of a squad car. Who wants to spend the rest of their life going downtown to spring their wife out of jail?

  [The funniest part of this entry is that several months later I read about a bride who had to be bailed out of jail to go on her honeymoon. Me, I would have been asking for an anulment the next day, but then maybe her husband was a bad-boy bar fighter too.

Yet to Be Classified

• Don't date a woman who knows all the bars that have Ladies' Night.

  I can't really comment on this because I have always instinctively avoided women like this.

• Don't date a woman whose house is done in the leopard or tiger motif.

  I suspect that this one goes along with the one about tatoos, but I'm not sure. Certainly you should keep in mind that however her house / apartment is decorated, so will your place be decorated shortly. However, I suspect that that wasn't the point. Please feel free to enlighten me.